Rebirth at 22 (Part 1)

 It all happens so fast. I cannot describe in words how much of a blur it feels like to get engaged and married and begin adulthood just like that. I know life, your parents and pestering friends prepare you (or at least they try) but nothing beats actually going through it. Nothing prepares you like experience.

A year ago in May when I was engaged, July 2016 seemed like a lifetime and a half away. It truly feels like time becomes a slimy slug on purpose so you can’t get married as fast as you’d like to. You begin to count down and 361 days in, you realize this is going to take a while. The fact that it was Summer as well, did not help the least because the warm sun, blue sky and fields of lush green grass only make you dream about being reunited with your love even faster despite the circumstance. Unfortunately, we have Bollywood to thank for that.

Days passed… then weeks and so did the months. My story unfolds in a way where I happened to graduate from college just months before my wedding. As a result, the terrifying thought of only having 4 months left with my family, haunted me every single day. I had known for quite some time I might be moving far away but it seems as if I’d managed to procrastinate that thought too. I spent much of those 4 months with my parents and my 3 siblings, relishing in every good moment and weathering through the bad, understanding I will miss these instances more than I can even fathom. And that is exactly what happened.

The month of July arrived and somehow time flew by and my wedding week was here.Even after my in-laws had flown in from Scotland the thought of leaving my family had not crossed my mind at all. Before we knew it, the wedding festivities had come to an end. When my flight to the UK was booked, I felt a lump in my throat beginning to form very slowly, that would last till the day we took off from Pearson International Airport.

I honestly didn’t think I’d cry because I heard some individuals tend to shut off their emotions when everyone surrounding them turns them on (full blast). I guess my hopes for myself were way too high and I was an absolute mess, the whole entire day. It started with one phone call a few hours before we had to leave for the airport and I sobbed non stop till I hugged my mom, dad and relatives goodbye at the airport.

This was going to be my very first time flying without my parents and going to another country without them AND living alone.Warning: childhood cousin sleepovers do NOT prepare you to be away from your parents. This was a major change for me especially because I come from a family that is very loud and boisterous and I’m the bossy eldest sister that is albeit mean but would give any organ for their well-being. Oh I also have a cat that is basically the love of my life after a few not so important peeps. So you must try to understand how shook up I was throughout the plane ride and everything else that commenced on August 7, 2016.

The Verdict: It was difficult. It was so very difficult. The first few days I thought I would go crazy and I was very emotional and irrational. But through it all, my darling husband put up with my hot and cold behavior and if it weren’t for him I would hate this place so much. It goes without saying…Canada will always and forever have my heart. Mostly because I have not found the famous brand of Sriracha sauce (with the green chicken on the bottle) I need with virtually everything I eat.

It has been a whole month and 2 days since my move to the UK and creating this blog has been on my mind for about a year now but it was only meant to happen when I came here. I believe that. This blog is meant to be a book in which I open up my mind and heart to everyone, in hopes of someone taking away something beneficial. I pray my goal is achieved, God-willing.

I really look forward to writing and sharing with those of you who choose to tune in, how I managed to cope moving so far away and what steps I’m taking to grow into these new shoes of life I have been gifted, ever so graciously.

Lots of love, light and warmth,

Bee Mirza

 

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2 thoughts on “Rebirth at 22 (Part 1)

  1. This was so truthfully and beautifully written, you made me tear up. I wish you all the love, happiness and success where you are inshAllah! Keep writing xx

    Like

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