You know what they don’t tell you about getting married young and then moving thousands of miles away? How many changes you’re about to weather all on your own very far away from your parents and your friends—humans that would usually help you through it all if they were hanging about. Husbands are awesome and very supportive; don’t get me wrong. But at the end of the day you are forced to fight your battles alone and that is the toughest part about it. In our society and culture marriage is painted beautifully with bright colors and adorned with lights, full and bliss and all that jazz. There is no denying whatsoever how soulful the process and experience of marriage is but what isn’t really conveyed to us girls or isn’t emphasized enough…is the painstaking truth that a whole new life is about to begin with new challenges and obstacles made to test our patience and mold us into the pieces of art we are meant to become. A few weeks into being married I tried my best to be very conscience of all the changes taking place, and soon enough my eyes were yanked open by the realities of how drastically my life was flipped upside down. Now some of you may be thinking “She’s exaggerating”, but you really have to go through something like this to believe it…Going from a college student to a married woman with responsibilities is one bloody hell of a leap.
God is endlessly Gracious in every way and I am forever indebted to Him for showering me with so many blessings but these blessings come with trials to keep us grounded and after nearly two months of being away from my family and my friends I began to realize just what it means to be forced into rapid growth. I’m not talking physical growth at all; alternatively, I’ve grown sideways quite a bit after being married (food=life). What I’m really referring to here is mental growth and a whole damn lot of it. No matter how much your mother sits you down over a cup of chai and meekly explains the concepts of “in-law life” and “respecting different peoples way of living” months before your marriage, it is not as effective as living through it. Yes I am repeating myself because it is just that REAL.
Speaking of real I want to drop a huge R bomb right now (reality bomb) and I want to express this because of how much it affected me and God knows how many other girls will go through or have gone through it but here’s the deal…More often than not, having a lavish wedding means your man has to get back to work very soon after marriage to compensate for all the costs incurred. In other words if you’ve moved to a new continent and can’t work yet or attend university/college be prepared for some good old alone time. I will not lie this really got to me in the beginning. Coming from a family where goodhearted bickering constantly occurs among siblings and a home where I can hear my mom loudly spoiling my cat silly, with terms of endearment, I was welcomed to Scotland with lots of love but with a very quiet life that was extremely alien to me. I want to share this stuff on my blog to shed light on how important it is to be a true friend to oneself and embrace loneliness solitude to its fullest. It’s nice to look to someone for happiness but to dig far and deep and to find that goldmine inside yourself is where it’s at. Side note: Parent In-laws are cool but I can’t talk to them about Fall fashion trends or how to achieve the most fierce cut crease eye makeup look.
So, having gone through everything I mentioned above I decided to create a blog to help me cope a little. I wrote my first post and shortly after I lost my will and passion to write. For many days and nights I wanted to force myself to write to remain consistent but concluded that there was no point in doing so. If it didn’t come naturally and if I was having off days I told myself it was okay. I think we sometimes forget we’re human and there’s nothing wrong with not feeling okay; you are allowed to feel down. We seem to constantly chase perfection in every form. Fortunately, no such thing exists because no growth would occur if we did. At the end of the day our lows help us value and aim for high. Even though I had learned this stuff previously through experience I’d forgotten and It took me awhile to relearn but here I am heart and all, sharing with you a glimpse into what an emotional and mental roller coaster ride these past couple months have been.
(P.S I have tons of posts to make, my birthday one is super late, I also want to post about my skincare woes and successes as well as a UK shopping haul post about all the things I’ve bought so far/comparing my UK shopping experience to my Canadian ones in the past, etc. From the topics mentioned above I’d love to know which you would want to see next on my blog and I’ll be more than happy to deliver).
May goodness only come your way.